On Callings and Convictions

Sometimes we are called to serve – whether for a moment, a season or a lifetime.  We are called to make sacrifices for a greater good; to courageously face challenges head on; to relentlessly pursue the course of right action, even when it may be unwelcome.

We do not heed these callings for our own gain, though there may be moments in which we feel richly rewarded for the work we are called to do.  We do not heed these callings for others’ approval, for just as there may be those who love and support us, there are just as many or more who may not only misunderstand, but may actively seek to sabotage us or others in the process.

Callings and convictions are about leaving the comfort and familiarity of the known for the unknown.

Callings and convictions are about leading and living and serving from within, not without.

They are about living from the heart and doing what’s right.

On purpose.

With passion.

With love.

I’m curious…what callings and convictions have you followed on your own life path?  What were the lessons learned?  What costs, if any, have you encountered for living the courage of your convictions?  How have you grown as a result of honoring your own journey? 

Postscript:  For those who, like me, believe that our lives and journeys and purpose are about something larger than our individual selves, I would add the following:  sometimes callings are not so much about our own plans, but about God’s plan for us.  While the convictions of our heart sometimes call us to follow a certain path, the purpose of our choice is not always clear, and it is often only in post-mortem analysis that we can begin to see the the real purpose(s) behind a given calling or path.

Our Own Best Advice

Why is it that we so often have wisdom for others, but ignore our own advice when it comes to ourselves?  We offer a sympathetic ear, weigh the person’s dilemma with a heady dose of objectivity – our friend’s best interests always at heart, and present morsels of insights…bits of wisdom or advice that might help another through their pain or struggle.

The problem is that we rarely do the same for ourselves – whether the mundane or the serious.

“You need carve out time to take care of yourself” (even if I don’t do the same for myself);

“Don’t eat that cookie” (but I’m going to sneak one when you’re not looking);

“You need to do what’s right for you and your family” (even if I’m forgetting to put those things first);

“You need to take care of your schoolwork and chores first, and then you can play” (even though my own chores and bills are stacked up);

“Don’t let the situation get the better of you – you have the power to choose a different course of action” (even though it’s easier for me to slip into feeling victimized by my own struggles).

The last few months of my life have felt like being in a fun house, chock-a-block full of mirrors hidden behind smoke screens, all of which seem to reflect a distorted version of what I know to be true, housed in a maze that has left me feeling lost, confused, and disoriented.   It is also fair to say that sandwiched between moments of hope, enthusiasm, and the promise of what could be, I have felt angry, disappointed, and at times victimized by a series of unfortunate circumstances that I could not have foreseen.  The memory of the good, and at times even amazing, has been overshadowed by the weight of my own emotional response to the rest, the capacity to remain rationally objective compromised.

I could see it, but I couldn’t step out of it.  I kept fighting what is, yet going nowhere.

And then it happened…

Someone hit a button.  Flipped a switched.  Gave me pause to reflect instead of react.

In that space of reflection, I was reminded of all that I already know and write about…that we needn’t be a victim in life and can always choose an attitude of ‘what ifs’ and ‘only ifs’ over ‘if only’; that ego is always rooted in fear, which we should never allow to stand in the way of the light of love; that it is the struggle itself that contain’s life’s lessons and enables deep growth; that an attitude of gratitude can carry us through even the most challenging times and often opens the door to new paths and possibilities; that the hallmark of real leadership resides in the true spirit of service above self, though sacrifice towards no meaningful end is simply another form of vanity; that deep inside of us, we all have the courage to handle whatever comes our way, and the integrity to do what is right; that we must honor the gifts we have to offer the world as a reflection of our most authentic selves.

In a moment of grace, I remembered to let go.  To surrender to what is.  To live and love fully in the moment.  To embrace the uncertainty of all that is yet to be.

I’m curious…

Have you ever found yourself ignoring your own best advice?  Have you ever found yourself needing to step out of the muck for a while, so that you step back in, a wiser leader and learner in the process?  What is the best piece of advice you offer others but routinely ignore yourself?

Acceptance

During my daughter’s preschool and early elementary days, when daily cries of ‘that’s unfair’ and ‘Johnny got more’ were prevalent among her classmates, she learned an expression from her teacher that has always stuck with her: “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.”

Lately that expression has been on my mind.

How often have you prayed to your God, the Universe, or simply reflected in your mind on something you really, truly wanted with all of your heart?  Perhaps your desire was centered around a thing, perhaps a relationship, or maybe even a job.  In that that desire, you sought fulfillment – a quench of insatiable want, need, or drive for meaning and purpose.

Sometimes in all of our wishing and hoping, begging and pleading, our earnest prayers go unanswered.  We feel angry or disappointed, and in that disappointment, righteous indignation overcomes us and we cry out “unfair!” (though we often later discover that these unanswered prayers were really secret blessings).  Perhaps we adhere rigidly to a plan, resisting conflicting realities, only to later feel betrayed by our own choices.  At other times, our prayers are answered or wishes granted, though what we thought we were getting turns out to be something different from what we imagined altogether.

So often our desires are focused on form, not function; on function, but not purpose. So often our responses are rooted in ego, not heart; or in fear, not love.

Acceptance does not mean settling for less or staying stuck.  It is does not suggest passive dependency, but an active way of seeing and being.  Often an agent of change – acceptance is opening our eyes to what is, that we might see where we are to go from here.  It is recognizing that the gift of a given moment or opportunity, often lies in the lessons it has to teach us.  At its core, acceptance is about the state of our own mind and heart; finding centered peace in the present, that we might reclaim lost joy.

I’m curious:  How often have you missed the magic of the moment, because you were too busy fighting it on your way to someplace else?  How often has a clouded vision of your present, prevented you from learning vital lessons and navigating next steps?  How often has stubborn resistance of what is robbed you of the gifts of time, peace and simple joy?  

The Tapestry of Life

In every life, there are times when our individual lives intersect or reconnect with another.  Moments when we catch a glimpse of the sheer depth of our interconnectedness and the smallness of our seemingly vast world.

Perhaps we cross cultural or geographic boundary and suddenly find ourselves standing in the same space as another we once knew from long ago, untouched by space and time.  Perhaps we are influenced by another, only to learn that there are others unseen and unknown who enabled that connection.  Sometimes these connections are simply paths that lead us back to our deepest selves – touching, inspiring, or igniting passions and purpose within our hearts that we may never have otherwise known.

From one perspective, the tapestry of our life may look like a jumbled bunch of thread – seemingly disjointed, chaotic, and often without clarity and understanding of how everything works together.  Turn it over, change your perspective, and this seemingly jumbled bunch of thread begins to take shape and give new meaning, value and perspective to our lives.

We each walk our own path, yet we are all a part of the whole.  We lead even as we learn from others. We receive blessings in the giving and are touched in ways both seen and unseen by those who walk behind or aside us, whether known or unknown.  In doing so, our lives become an interwoven tapestry, rich and varied in color, yet part of a larger design.

I’m curious…

How do you view your life, lessons, and connections with others?  Do you view them in isolation or as part of a larger whole?  How have your connections with others enabled to you to learn, grow, or forge a deeper connection with yourself?

A Season of Remembrance

If New Year’s Day is a time for looking forward, the days leading up to Christmas have always been a time of remembrance for me.  Yes, the child (or parent) in all of us, often frantically spends our days (and money) counting down the days until Santa arrives; and to those for whom the season holds a deeper, more spiritual meaning, we anticipate and celebrate the birth of Christ, honor the passage of Hanukkah, or share in the festivity of Kwanza. But in all of the anticipation…in all of the preparation…it’s easy to overlook the blessings of the season itself and the opportunity to spend time in quiet reflection of all that has come before and all that we now hold most dear.

Last week I was in China, and though a majority of Chinese do not recognize the Christian meaning of Christmas, endless numbers of lit-up trees, reindeers and Santa exist nonetheless.  Even my own earliest memory of Santa is Chinese, from my childhood days in Singapore, so I suppose I shouldn’t have been too surprised when I joined one of my colleagues for breakfast, only to hear one of my favorite Christmas singers, Nat King Cole, playing on the speakers above.

Instantly my mind was transported back to an earlier time…a simpler time, when I saw and enjoyed Christmas through the eyes and ears of a child, and later, through the eyes of a young mother, whose focus was on the delight of her children’s random, yet certain reindeer sightings.  It was a time when the demands of life and work did not compete with my desire to bask in the full glow of the season and in the remembrance of seasons past; a time when my energy was squarely focused on spending time with those I love and cherish, whether family, friends or neighbors; a time when the smells and sights and sounds of the season were wrapped up in both the memories of seasons past and the memory-making moments of the present.  It was a time, quite simply, when as if by magic, the world stood still, if only for a moment.

So it is at this time, in the final stretch before Christmas arrives, that I am trying to slow down long enough to remind myself of what really matters, and re-prioritize my choices to reflect those values.  I am making time to savor the present, while taking time to honor the past.  I am remembering what it is to give – not in the way of material presents, but in the gift of our time, attention and heart.  Most importantly, I am creating a sacred space in which to build memories with my own growing children – memories they may also hold dear in their hearts for years to come and pass on with each season of their lives.

As you celebrate your own meaning of this season with your family and loved ones, may the blessings of the season remain in your hearts throughout the year and for years to come.

Merry Christmas!

TEAM

TEAM

To me, the word TEAM stands for ‘Together Everyone Achieves More’.  And it’s true.  When the values and actions of many align with the vision of the whole, just about anything becomes possible.  Add love, humility and a servant’s heart to the team and everyone benefits.

Yesterday I had the privilege of having lunch with someone who leads with love.  Someone who believes that his company’s ongoing success, despite a difficult economy, is the result of taking care of his people – creating a transparent environment of trust where people are empowered to lead and live up to their fullest potential; an environment where balancing the demands of work with time for family and self-care creates sustainable high performance instead of pushing people to the point of burnout.  His vision, values, and commitment to TEAM are clear and the results speak for themselves.

I saw a different, albeit equally impressive example of TEAM last week in China.  I was there as part of a delegation formed to share best practices in clean energy innovation in sustainable urban planning.  Our team visited several communities and met with various Chinese urban planning officials, policy makers and clean tech companies working together on an unfathomable scale to address the environmental impact of mass urbanization.  We were collectively awed by the possibilities of what clear vision, effective teamwork and strong leadership can produce.  Equally impressive was their willingness to seek advice and input from others, recognizing that there is much to learn from each other.

In sharp contrast, these last few weeks I have also bore witness to two separate, yet equally exhausting examples of an alternative, less savory version of the acronym TEAM.  I have watched tremendous initiative, effort and vision of what’s possible get buried under an avalanche of noise manifesting as territorial behavior, rooted in ego, pride and fear.  I have watched helplessly as people, organizations and ideas have become polarized – stalemate and inertia setting in, attempting to take root in ever-shifting sands.  Sadly, I have watched as the acronym TEAM morphed into a different meaning altogether:  Territorialism Eventually Annihilates Motivation.

So I wonder to myself and I’m curious to ask…

How do we lead with love, love our teams, and continue to build bridges in the face of resistance?  How, as leaders, do we build foundations of trust and transparency when others would rather play politics?  How do we stay motivated and inspire others to align to a common goal?  How do we teach and model the true meaning of TEAM – that together, we really can achieve more than any of us can do alone?

Moments

There are moments in each of our lives when we know we are exactly where we are meant to be.  Moments when our journeys become something bigger than our own individual goals and aspirations.  Moments when what we have to offer the world serves a greater need and good than anything we could have imagined alone.

It is in these times that I am aware of the power of one – to touch, to inspire, to influence, to lead.  It is at these times that I am equally aware of the power of team – to collaborate, to partner, to collectively do and contribute and achieve more than any of us can do alone.  

These are the moments in which the ripple effect of individual dreams, talent, experience, drive, vision, values and passion converge into a great wave of momentum. Ambiguity and complacency give way to moments of purpose driven mission, filled with heart-aligned synchronicity.   A sense of centered peace grounds us and clears the path, making all things possible.

I’m curious…

Can you recall a time when you knew you were exactly where you needed to be, doing what you were meant to do – not from some external measure of success or obligation, but from a heart and soul-centered place?  In such moments, which often defy logic or reason, what sustains your sense of purpose through the inevitability of challenge and fatigue?  As you learn to trust and act from your deepest sense of self, how have people, events and opportunities aligned to support your soul’s calling?

The Journey is Now

How many times do we put off until tomorrow, what we dream of today?

How many times do we mortgage the gifts of the present for the shackles of the past, or the often empty promises of a still unknown future?

How many times do we begin our dreams with the words “One day… or If only…“?

The heart knows what the soul needs, if we’ll learn to listen from within.

We need only answer “yes” when we hear the call of our heart, for seeds planted in the heart are really the cry of our soul.

Go then.

There is no challenge we cannot learn from, grow from, or perhaps even overcome.

There is no fear that cannot be faced,

For hope, faith, courage, and love are always on your side.

Your journey is here, my friend.

Your journey is now.

Simply go.

(Photo courtesy photos-public-domain.com)

Humility

It is very early in the morning, still dark outside and quiet in the house…my favorite time of day.  Even on the weekends I set my alarm so that I can rise before everyone else…stealing moments of time to sit in absolute stillness, gather my thoughts and tune into my spirit.  It is a time when the events of the previous days, weeks or months, settle on my heart and give me pause for deep reflection.  It is also a time of humble prayer and quiet meditation.

Today, I continue to reflect on the word humility.  Webster’s defines it as the quality of being humble, respectful and modest.  In a broader sense, it is not only the quality of being modest about what we do know, but an honest acknowledgement of all that we don’t know and still have to learn.  It is submissive in nature.  It is the opposite of ego and it is rooted in love.  It is the great equalizer when we find ourselves pulled off-center in a state of false pride.

It is at these times – times when we momentarily lose our balance – that our outer strength gives way to a deeper vulnerability, and in this raw, exposed place, we feel naked and humbled beyond measure.  It is these moments that tempt us to run away, bury our hearts, or hide behind thick walls of defense; moments when prideful ego or ignorance rooted deeply in fear, risk luring us away from the growth and wisdom that true humility provides. But experience teaches us that humility is a powerful, grounding force, if we’ll allow its rightful place in our lives.  It is not haughty or boastful or proud. It centers and grounds us in our wisdom, while gently reminding us of all we still have to learn.  It dismantles our ego, while opening our hearts.  It builds bridges instead of walls.  It unifies rather than divides.

Sometimes humility is simply God’s way of reminding us to be still and to submit to the truth that we are but one star in a galaxy of many.  No less important than others, but no more important, either; that just as we are all leaders in our lives, we are all learners, too;  that perhaps the purpose of life is not to rest in certain knowledge of the answers, but to humbly and courageously seek the truth while embracing the larger mystery that is life.

I‘m curious…

How do you define humility?  What role does it play in your leadership?  What role does it play in your life?  Have you ever found yourself thrown off-balance?  What role has humility played in bringing you back to center?  How has humility helped you grow?  

Building Up or Breaking Down?

Yesterday I wrote a post that I subsequently took down.  The topic was managing fear through change, whether organizationally or personally.  The intent was to highlight the constancy of change and how our response to this inevitability can profoundly shape the future.  I noted how when we respond with fear or stubborn resistance to the status quo, we risk staying stuck in the past and often find ourselves woefully unprepared to manage change; when we become agile learners and leaders aligned to our core values, we are more fluidly able to act with centered measure.  The post also included an honest account of my own professional observations on the subject of fear, though the anecdotal story I chose to focus on did not cast a favorable light.

Sometimes we learn important lessons from our own or others’ challenges.  We watch as organizations struggle and/or individuals fail, and we take copious notes, hoping to learn a better way.  Sometimes the struggles and failures are our own. From my perspective, they are simply opportunities for growth, though such opportunities for growth are rarely pain- or consequence-free.  How we portray these struggles to others, then, requires a measured dose of balance and respect.  After all, there is power in the word, and our words, as I have often written, have the power to build up, break down, and influence others.

A heady dose of humility reminds me that the path to peace, learning, and bridge building begins with ourselves.  It begins with a deep and honest look at the state of our own hearts.  It begins with the willing acknowledgment that our perspective is only a singular dimension of the truth, though not necessarily the experience of others. Humility is also an important reminder that when we choose to view the experience of life through the singular lens of our ego, our thoughts and words risk turning into judgment, and judgment always alienates.

I’m curious…

How has the lens through which you experience life shaped your view of the truth? How does your focus change when viewed through the ego vs. the heart?  Do you learn best from observing what doesn’t work, or from observing what does?  How do you find balance between the two?  When the ego rises up and threatens to overtake your judgment, what role does humility play in bringing you back to center?